he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
