but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
