I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
