And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
