He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
