I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize