Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
