butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
