She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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