i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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