if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
