Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize