I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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