i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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