i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I think my moral compass just broke
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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