You really coming over, don't trick.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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