I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
