Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
