I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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