He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Randomize