i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i think my mom watched the whole time
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
