Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Small penises have feelings too.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
