I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize