That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Dignity is for republicans.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
