So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
