I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
