dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
