What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
whose parrot is this?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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