so that wasnt chicken after all
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
