would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
