she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
