I faked an abortion last night.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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