Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
