I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize