I would go down on you faster than GM stock
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Randomize
