I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
