sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
