I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
