Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
