She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
