I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
