Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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