***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
