It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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