Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I cannot find my penis.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
