I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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