turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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