and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
