STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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