Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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