now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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