Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
