it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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