I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
