too bad you live with your parents still
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
