its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
