this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize