If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I stole a fireplace last night.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
