I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
