You really coming over, don't trick.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
We had sex on a dog bed..
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
