I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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