Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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