i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
